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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I walk the valley where I harvest my grain
I a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish me
You know I shun things electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn once or twice, in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little want to be like
On my knees day and night points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or lights, living in an paradise
But you'd think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah
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