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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I walk through the valley I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's perfect for an Amish me
You know I shun fancy like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you thine
Then tonight we're to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our living in an Amish paradise
I churn once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, in an paradise
We sell at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A boy me in the butt last week
I at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't punched a even if he deserved it
An with a 'tude, you that's unheard of
I never buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah
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