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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I walk through the valley where I my grain
I take a look at my wife and she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy like electricity

At in the mornin' I'm cows
Jedediah the chickens and plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you thine
tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an paradise
I churn once or twice, in an Amish paradise
It's work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We at price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and guys, in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my day and night points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah
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