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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish me
You know I fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then we're going to party it's 1699

We've spending most our living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We quilts at discount price, living in an paradise

A boy me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never a tourist even if he deserved it
An with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't and stare
We're just impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, I'll a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts to be like
On my knees day and night points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been most our lives living in an paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, in an paradise
There's no cops or lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an paradise
Yeah
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