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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I through the valley I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just for an Amish like me
You I fancy things electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm cows
the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just at him, and I turned the other cheek
I don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never a tourist even if he it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives in an paradise
We're just and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' of butter
a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an paradise
Yeah
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