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Amish Paradise English Medium

by Weird Al Yankovic

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As I walk through the valley I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party it's 1699

We've been most our lives in an Amish paradise
I or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the last week
I smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's of
I never wear buttons, but I got a hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so don't and stare
We're technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're plain and simple guys, living in an paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah
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