Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (1)________ me
You (2)________ I shun (3)__________ things like electricity

At (4)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (5)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (6)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (7)__________ to (8)__________ (9)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (10)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (13)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (14)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (15)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't (17)____________ quaint, so please don't (18)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (19)____________ guys, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (21)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (23)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (24)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been (25)________________ (26)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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