Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy (3)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (5)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (6)________ our lives (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn (8)____________ (9)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (10)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (11)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (13)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (14)________ (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (16)________ the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (18)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (19)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (20)__________ paradise
There's no (21)________ for sin and vice, living in an (22)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (23)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (24)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (25)__________ (26)________ to get (27)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
There's no (29)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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