Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the very model of a (1)____________ Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm (2)________ well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm (3)______________ with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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I (4)________ our (5)____________ history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can (6)__________ peculiarities parabolous
I can (7)________ undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the (8)________________ chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From (9)________ infernal nonsense Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you (10)__________ detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know (11)________ is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been (12)________ in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has (13)__________ sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (14)__________ of a modern Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser (15)__________ from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And (16)________ I (17)________ precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What (18)________________ has (19)________ (20)________ in (21)____________ gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a (22)____________ Major-General has never rode a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm (23)____________ and adventury
Has only (24)________ brought down
To the (25)__________________ of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (26)__________ of a modern Major-General!
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