Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the (1)________ model of a (2)____________ Major-General
I've (3)______________________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with (4)______________ mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm (5)________ (6)________ at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (7)__________ of a modern Major-General
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I know our mythic history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a (8)____________ (9)__________ for paradox
I (10)__________ in elegiacs all the (11)____________ of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of (12)__________ I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From that infernal (13)________________ Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you every (14)____________ of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (15)__________ of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been (16)________ in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a (17)____________ in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
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For my (18)________________ knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (19)________ model of a modern Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I (20)________ what is (21)__________ by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at (22)__________ a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And (23)________ I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has (24)________ (25)________ in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics (26)________ a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never rode a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has (27)________ been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very (28)__________ of a modern Major-General!
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