Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the (1)____________ and quadratical
About binomial (2)______________ I'm teeming with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (3)________ model of a modern Major-General
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I know our (4)____________ history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer (5)________ acrostics, I've a pretty (6)__________ for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From that infernal nonsense Pinafore
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Then I can (7)__________ a (8)______________ (9)________ in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a (10)____________ Major-General
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In fact
When I know (11)________ is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a (12)____________ rifle from a javelin
When (13)________ affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has (14)________ made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics (15)________ a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been (16)______________ down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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(One more time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can (17)________ at (18)__________ a (19)____________ rifle (20)________ a javelin
When (21)________ affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And when I (22)________ precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been (23)________ in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, (24)________ I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has (25)__________ rode a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has (26)________ been (27)______________ down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a (28)____________ Major-General!
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