Major-General's Song by Gilbert And Sullivan

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I am the (1)________ model of a (2)____________ Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England
And I quote the fights historical
From (3)________________ to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, (4)________ the simple and quadratical
About binomial (5)______________ I'm (6)______________ with a lot o' news
(Hmm, lot of news.... Got it!)
With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific (7)__________ of beings animalculous
In short, in (8)______________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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I know our mythic history
King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I (9)____________ (10)________ acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in (11)________________ all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In (12)____________ I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted
Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus
From The Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue
Of which I've heard the music's din afore
(Ooh, din afore, din afore... Got it!)
And whistle all the airs
From that infernal nonsense Pinafore
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a (13)____________ rifle from a javelin
When such (14)______________ as sorties
And (15)__________________ I'm more wary at
And (16)________ I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
(Oh, that's a hard one, strategy... Got it!)
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
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(One (17)________ time?!)
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In fact
When I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at (18)__________ a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties
And surprises I'm more wary at
And (19)________ I know precisely
What is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt
What progress has (20)________ made in (21)____________ gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never rode a horse!
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For my military knowledge
Though I'm plucky and adventury
Has (22)________ been brought down
To the beginning of the century
But still, in (23)______________ vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the (24)________ (25)__________ of a (26)____________ Major-General!
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