The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't (1)________ me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may (2)__________ most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't even (3)________ what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to (4)__________ real shrewd
Now I accessorize (5)________ food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this (6)____________ bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My (7)__________ (8)________ set your world on fire
I could (9)________ you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, (10)________ keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, (11)______________ all night till the break of dawn
Cooking (12)________ peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat (13)________ if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his (14)______________ for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get (15)__________ hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a (16)__________ cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as (17)________ as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't (18)________ on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your (19)____________ jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your (20)________ out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and (21)__________ to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a (22)________ in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of playing "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You (23)________ money doesn't (24)________ on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't (25)________ you as (26)________ as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss (27)________ aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your (28)__________ to yourself, boy
Don't make me (29)________ this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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