The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We (1)__________ (2)________ how to (3)________ the hizzle
I don't even know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's (4)______________ been chewed
And that's all right
I make this (5)____________ bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got (6)________ eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all (7)__________ till the (8)__________ of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real (9)________ to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get outta hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out (10)________ the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get (11)________ toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' (12)______________ (13)________ a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and (14)__________ to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never (15)________ tired of playing "I spy"
The constant (16)____________ of kids (17)____________ "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You (18)________ money doesn't (19)________ on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat (20)______________ veggie
Close (21)________ door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And (22)________ your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your (23)____________ off the table
Mom and dad of the year, (24)__________ it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and (25)__________ in the house
Mom and (26)__________ own the house
Mom and (27)__________ need to clean the house...

Keep (28)________ hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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