The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may (1)__________ most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't even know (2)________ you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, (3)______________ up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our (4)____________ wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the (5)____________ one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with (6)________ that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using your full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the break of dawn
Cooking (7)________ (8)________ so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat belt if we (9)__________ head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' (10)__________ (11)__________ if we get (12)__________ hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an (13)______________ slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know (14)________ yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty (15)________________ all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if (16)________ friend jumped off a (17)__________ you don't have to do the same"
Now get (18)________ toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' (19)__________ spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and (20)__________ to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of (21)______________ "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You know (22)__________ doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat (23)______________ veggie
Close (24)________ door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and (25)__________ in the house
Mom and (26)__________ own the house
Mom and daddy (27)________ to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me (28)________ this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this (29)________ right over.

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