The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may spend most of our (1)________ chasing toddlers (2)________ but
We still (3)________ how to rock the hizzle
I don't even know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, (4)______________ up way (5)__________ dark
Then we had a (6)____________ shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the (7)____________ one is saggin'

I used to (8)__________ it up, I used to dress (9)________ shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already been chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag (10)________ good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them (11)________ in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using (12)________ full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, (13)______________ all night till the break of dawn
Cooking them (14)________ so I'll grow up strong
Got my second seat belt if we crash head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' (15)__________ brows if we get outta hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an (16)______________ slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know (17)________ yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, (18)________ it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your (19)________ out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our (20)__________ are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to share and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' (21)________ put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never (22)________ tired of playing "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he (23)____________ pretends he (24)__________ another tie

You know money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as much as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss (25)________ aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and (26)__________ own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't (27)________ me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this (28)________ right over.

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