The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't make me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the (1)____________ rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't even know what you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me (2)__________ it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I used to (3)__________ it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with (4)________ that's already (5)________ chewed
And that's all right
I make this diaper bag look good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your (6)__________ on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got (7)________ eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using (8)________ full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, (9)________ keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all night till the break of dawn
Cooking (10)________ peas so I'll (11)________ up strong
Got my second seat belt if we (12)__________ head on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real (13)________ to (14)______________ the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those brows if we get outta hand

When it come to Candyland, I'm a stone cold player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into (15)__________ without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not know this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama (16)________ it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s like they're hot
Potty training all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little shoes in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' (17)__________ spill
Cuttin' (18)______________ like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't (19)__________ our rhyms are ill boy?
Then your grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to (20)__________ and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' nice put a sock in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never gets tired of playing "I spy"
The constant barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You (21)________ money doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the milk is free
This won't hurt you as (22)________ as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't (23)________ in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your (24)________ mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the parent rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and (25)__________ own the house
Mom and daddy need to (26)__________ the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't (27)________ me stop this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull (28)________ beat right over.

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