Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (2)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (3)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (4)________ that
Even Ezekial (5)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (6)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (7)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (8)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (9)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (10)________ quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (12)__________ punched a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (14)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (16)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (17)__________________ as can be

We've (18)________ spending most our lives living in an (19)__________ paradise
We're (20)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (21)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (22)________ on Monday, (23)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (24)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (25)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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