Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (1)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (2)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (3)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (7)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (8)________ (9)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (10)____________ me in the butt last week
I (11)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (12)________ that's (13)______________ of
I never (14)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (17)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (18)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (21)________ of butter
Raised a (22)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (23)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (24)________ hiney

We've been (25)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (26)____________ in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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