Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ (3)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a (4)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (5)________ me
You know I shun fancy things (6)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (7)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (9)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (10)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (11)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (13)__________ punched a tourist even if he (14)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (15)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (16)__________ (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (18)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (19)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (20)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (21)____________ righteous? (22)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (24)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (25)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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