Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (2)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (4)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (5)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (6)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (7)________________ price, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise

A (9)__________ boy kicked me in the (10)________ last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (11)______________ of
I never (12)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (13)____________ agree I really look (14)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (15)____________ quaint, so please don't (16)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (17)________ plain and simple guys, living in an (18)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (19)________ nice, living in an (20)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (21)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (22)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (23)________ to get (24)________________ on your hiney

We've (25)________ spending (26)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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