Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and (3)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (4)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (5)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (6)__________ (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (8)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (9)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (10)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (11)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (12)________ the (13)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (14)____________ don't (15)__________ and stare
We're (16)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (17)__________ and simple guys, living in an (18)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (20)________ nice, living in an (21)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (22)____________ righteous? (23)__________ you're (24)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (25)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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