Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (4)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (6)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (7)________ (8)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (9)________ quilts at discount price, (10)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy (11)____________ me in the (12)________ last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish (13)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (14)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (15)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (16)__________ and simple guys, living in an (17)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (18)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (19)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as humble as (21)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (22)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (23)________ spending most our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're all (25)__________ Mennonites, living in an (26)__________ paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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