Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the (2)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (3)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (4)______________ and (5)______________ so long that
Even (6)______________ (7)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (8)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (9)____________ thine
Then tonight we're (10)__________ to party (11)________ it's 1699

We've been (12)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (13)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (14)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (15)________ that's (16)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (17)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (19)____________ in an (20)__________ paradise
There's no (21)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (22)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (23)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (24)__________ have to get (25)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
Yeah

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