Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (3)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (4)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (5)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (6)__________ paradise
It's (7)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (9)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (10)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (11)________ off (12)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (14)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you (16)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (17)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (18)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're (20)________ plain and simple guys, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (22)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (23)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending (24)________ our lives (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (26)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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