Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (1)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun (2)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (4)________ it's 1699

We've (5)________ spending most our lives (6)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (7)________ (8)________ and sacrifice, living in an (9)__________ paradise
We (10)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (11)________ last week
I (12)________ smiled at him, and I (13)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (14)______________ a tourist even if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (16)______________ of
I (17)__________ wear buttons, but I got a (18)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (19)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (20)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (21)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (22)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (23)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (24)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (25)________ (26)________________ most our lives (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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