Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just (3)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I (4)________ fancy (5)____________ like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (6)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (7)______________ and (8)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (9)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (10)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (11)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (12)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (13)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (14)____________ agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (16)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (17)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (18)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (20)________ nice, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (22)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (23)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (24)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (25)__________ day and night (26)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (27)________________ on (28)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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