Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (3)________ (4)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (7)__________ to (8)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending (9)________ our (10)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I (11)__________ (12)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (13)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (14)________ that's (15)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (16)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you (17)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (18)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (19)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as (21)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (22)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (23)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (24)________ (25)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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