Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (1)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (2)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (3)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (4)__________ on my chin
But if I (5)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (6)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (7)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy (9)____________ me in the (10)________ last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (11)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (12)____________ look (13)________ in black, fool

If you (14)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (15)________ paid the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (17)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (18)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (22)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (23)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (25)________ (26)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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