Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just (3)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (4)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (6)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I (7)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (8)__________ like it's 1699

We've been (9)________________ most our (10)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (11)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (12)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (13)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (14)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (15)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (16)______________ of
I never (17)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (18)________ to visit, you'll be (19)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the (20)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (21)____________ don't point and stare
We're just (22)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (23)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (24)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (25)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (26)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (27)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (28)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (29)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (30)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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