Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I (3)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (4)______________ for an (5)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy (6)____________ (7)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (8)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (9)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (10)____________ once or twice, (11)____________ in an (12)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (13)____________ in an Amish paradise
We (14)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (15)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (16)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (17)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (18)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (19)____________ guys, living in an (20)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (21)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (22)________ of butter
Raised a (23)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (24)____________ guy the (25)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (26)________ my (27)______________ might have to get medieval on (28)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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