Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and (2)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (3)________ I shun fancy (4)____________ (5)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (6)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (7)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (10)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (11)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (13)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (14)__________ I (15)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (16)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (17)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (18)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (21)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (22)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (23)________ my brother (24)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (25)________ or (26)______________ lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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