Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a (3)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (4)________ (5)__________ things like electricity

At (6)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (7)________ discipline
Got a (8)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (9)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (10)________ work and sacrifice, living in an (11)__________ paradise
We (12)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (13)__________ boy (14)____________ me in the butt last week
I (15)________ (16)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (17)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (18)______________ even if he (19)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (20)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (21)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (22)__________ and simple guys, living in an (23)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (24)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (25)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (26)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all (28)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (29)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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