Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun (3)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (4)______________ and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (6)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (7)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (9)__________ boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (10)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (11)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (12)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (13)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (14)__________________ as can be

We've been (15)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (16)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (17)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (18)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (19)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (20)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (21)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (22)________________ on your hiney

We've been (23)________________ (24)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (26)__________ it bites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
Yeah

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