Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You (4)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and (6)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (7)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (8)________ and a (9)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (10)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (11)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (12)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (14)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (15)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (16)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (17)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (18)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (19)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (20)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (21)____________ guy the (22)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending (23)________ our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (25)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (26)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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