Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (1)________ perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun (2)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (5)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (6)____________ at (7)________________ price, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy (9)____________ me in the butt last week
I (10)________ (11)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (13)______________ a tourist (14)________ if he deserved it
An (15)__________ with a 'tude, you (16)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (17)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (18)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (19)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (20)____________ as thou art

I'm the (21)____________ guy the little (22)______________ (23)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (24)__________ have to get (25)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (28)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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