Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (1)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (2)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (3)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (4)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (5)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell (6)____________ at discount price, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (8)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish (9)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (10)________ paid the phone (11)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (12)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (13)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our (14)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just (15)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (16)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (17)____________ guy the little (18)______________ want to be like
On my (19)__________ day and night scoring (20)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (21)________ my brother might have to get medieval on (22)________ hiney

We've (23)________ spending (24)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd (26)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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