Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (3)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I (4)________ fancy things like electricity

At (5)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (7)____________ that my (8)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (9)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I (10)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (11)__________ like it's 1699

We've (12)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (13)__________ boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (14)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (15)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (16)____________ (17)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (18)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (19)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (20)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (21)__________ and (22)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (23)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (24)______________ times as (25)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (26)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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