Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I (3)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (4)________ (5)______________ for an (6)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things (7)________ electricity

At (8)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (9)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (10)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (12)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (13)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (14)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (15)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (16)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (17)__________ paradise
We're just plain and (18)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (20)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (21)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (22)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (23)________ to get medieval on (24)________ hiney

We've been spending (25)________ our lives living in an (26)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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