Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (1)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (2)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (3)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (4)______________ we're going to party (5)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (6)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (7)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (8)____________ me in the butt (9)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (10)________ I (11)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (12)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (13)________________ it
An (14)__________ (15)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (16)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (18)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (19)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (20)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (22)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (23)____________ guy the little Amletts (24)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (25)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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