Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I (3)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (5)__________ like it's 1699

We've (6)________ spending most our (7)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (9)________ off (10)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (11)______________ (12)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (13)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (14)__________ bill in 300 years
But we ain't (15)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (16)________ (17)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (18)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (20)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (21)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (22)________ my (23)______________ might (24)________ to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
Yeah

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