Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (4)________ discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (6)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (7)__________ (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (9)________ and sacrifice, (10)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (11)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (12)______________ a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish (14)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (15)__________ I (16)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (17)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (18)________________ (19)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (20)____________ in an (21)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the (23)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (24)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've (26)________ spending most our (27)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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