Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my (2)________ and (3)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (4)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (5)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ (7)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (8)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I (9)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (10)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
I (12)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (13)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (14)________________ price, living in an (15)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (16)________ off (17)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (18)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (19)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (20)__________ I really (21)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (22)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (23)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (24)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (25)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (26)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (27)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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