Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (2)________ at my wife and realize she's (3)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an (4)__________ (5)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (6)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (7)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (8)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (10)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (11)________ work and sacrifice, living in an (12)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (13)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (15)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An (16)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (18)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (19)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (20)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (21)____________ guys, (22)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (23)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (24)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (25)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (26)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (27)__________ (28)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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