Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ (2)______________ the (3)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a (4)________ at my wife and realize she's (5)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun (6)__________ things like electricity

At (7)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (8)__________ the chickens and (9)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (10)__________ in my hand and a (11)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (12)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (13)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (14)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (15)________ that's unheard of
I never (16)________ buttons, but I got a (17)________ hat
And my (18)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (19)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (20)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (21)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (22)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (23)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (24)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been (25)________________ most our (26)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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