Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (2)__________ like me
You know I (3)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and (5)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (6)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (8)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
We (10)________ quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (11)____________ don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (13)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (14)__________ punched a (15)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (16)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (18)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (21)____________ righteous? (22)__________ you're (23)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (24)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (25)______________ (26)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (27)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (28)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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