Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (2)________ and (3)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (4)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (5)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (6)____________ (7)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (8)________ discipline
Got a (9)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (10)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (12)________ (13)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (15)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (16)________ in black, fool

If you (17)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (18)________ in 300 years
But we ain't (19)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (20)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (21)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (22)________ on Monday, soon I'll (23)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (24)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've (26)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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