Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (1)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (2)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (3)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I (4)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party (5)________ it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (6)________ and sacrifice, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell (8)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (9)________ last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (10)__________ cheek
I (11)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (12)__________ punched a tourist (13)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (14)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (16)____________ quaint, so (17)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (18)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (20)____________ righteous? (21)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as (23)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (24)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (25)________________ on (26)________ hiney

We've been spending (27)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (28)______________ lights, living in an (29)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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