Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (1)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (3)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've (5)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (6)________ discipline
Got a (7)__________ in my hand and a (8)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (9)____________ thine
Then (10)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (11)__________ paradise
It's (12)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (13)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (14)________ (15)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I (16)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (17)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (18)____________ (19)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (20)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (21)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (22)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (23)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (24)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (25)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (26)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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