Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (1)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (2)________________ most our (3)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn (4)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (5)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (6)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (7)________ last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (8)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (9)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (10)__________ punched a (11)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish (12)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (13)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (14)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (15)____________ don't (16)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (17)__________ and simple guys, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (19)________ for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (21)________ nice, living in an (22)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (24)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night (25)______________ (26)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (27)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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