Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun (4)__________ (5)____________ (6)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (7)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (8)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even (9)______________ thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (10)________ our lives living in an (11)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (14)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (15)________ if he deserved it
An Amish (16)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (17)________ to visit, you'll be (18)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (19)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (20)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (21)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (22)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night (23)______________ (24)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (25)________ hiney

We've (26)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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