Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (3)__________ the chickens and (4)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (5)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (6)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (7)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (8)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (9)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (10)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (11)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (12)________ good in black, fool

If you (13)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (14)____________ don't point and stare
We're (15)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (16)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're (17)________ plain and (18)____________ guys, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (22)__________ a nutter
Think you're (23)____________ righteous? (24)__________ you're (25)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (26)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and (27)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (28)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives (29)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (30)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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