Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (3)__________ on my chin
But if I (4)____________ all of my chores, and you (5)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to (6)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (7)____________ once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (10)________ (11)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (13)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (14)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (15)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (16)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (17)________ spending most our lives living in an (18)__________ paradise
We're (19)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (20)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (21)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (22)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (23)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (24)________ my (25)______________ might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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