The Parent Rap by Bluefish TV

Don't (1)________ me count to 1-2-3
Yeah, it's the parent rap, y'all
We may spend most of our time chasing toddlers down but
We still know how to rock the hizzle
I don't even know (2)________ you just said

We used to be cool!
Back in the day, back on the block
Watching PG-13 movies, staying up way after dark
Then we had a couple shorties
And now we're really flossy
Cause now we be rollin' with our own little possie
In the mini van
Or in our little wagon
Let me throw it to the moms
Cause the little one is saggin'

I used to bling it up, I used to dress real shrewd
Now I accessorize with food that's already (3)________ chewed
And that's all right
I make (4)________ diaper bag (5)________ good
When I'm walking through the mall tryin' to wrangle my brood
My PB&Js will set your world on fire
I could make you mac-n-cheese blindfolded on a wire
I'm wiping the do-do
Kissin' the booboos
Got them eyes in the back of my head, I see all you do.
Using (6)________ full name so you know I ain't playin'
And that's why all my kiddo's, they keep sayin'

Mom mom, she's the bomb, rocking all (7)__________ till the (8)__________ of dawn
Cooking them peas so I'll grow up strong
Got my second (9)________ belt if we crash (10)________ on
Dad dad, he's the man, working real hard to support the clan
Traded in his porsche for an old sedan
Raisin' those (11)__________ if we get outta hand

When it (12)________ to Candyland, I'm a stone (13)________ player
Helping out with the homework, I'm an Algebra slayer
Wrestle carseats into place without spillin' my mug
If I tuck you in at night, you'll be as snug as a bug
Then I'm off in the morning, to make that cheese
You may not (14)________ this yet, but it doesn't grow on trees
Now mama take it please, what, uh, take it

I'm droppin' "time out"s (15)________ they're hot
Potty (16)________________ all my tots
Washin' all the pans and pots
Tyin' little (17)__________ in knots
Giving knowlege to your brain
Like "if your friend jumped off a train you don't have to do the same"
Now get your toys out of the rain!
I'm cleanin' every spill
Cuttin' coupons like a vil
If you need parental skill now you know
We are for real!
You don't think our rhyms are ill boy?
Then (18)________ grounded for a mil!

Mom, mom, she's legit
Making us chill when we pitch a fit
Telling us to (19)__________ and never to hit
If you can't say somethin' (20)________ put a (21)________ in it
Dad dad, he's the guy,
never (22)________ tired of playing "I spy"
The (23)________________ barage of kids asking "why"
And he always pretends he needs another tie

You know (24)__________ doesn't grow on trees
Why buy the cow if the (25)________ is free
This won't hurt you as (26)________ as it hurts me
If you want dessert eat another veggie
Close that door
You weren't born in a stable
Sit up straight
And kiss your aunt mable
Close your mouth when you chew
Get your elbows off the table
Mom and dad of the year, check it, that's the label

It's the (27)____________ rap y'all
And it's apparent
We're great parents
Mom and daddy in the house
Mom and daddy own the house
Mom and daddy need to clean the house...

Keep your hands to yourself, boy
Don't make me (28)________ this beat, I'll do it! I'll pull this beat right over.

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