Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a (1)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (2)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (3)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (4)____________ at discount price, (5)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy (6)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (7)____________ the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (8)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (9)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (10)________ hat
And my homies agree I (11)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (12)________ the phone (13)________ in 300 years
But we ain't (14)____________ quaint, so (15)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (16)__________________ as can be

We've been spending (17)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (18)__________ paradise
There's no (19)________ for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (21)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (22)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (23)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (24)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (25)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (26)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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