Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (1)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an Amish (3)________ me
You (4)________ I shun fancy things (5)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (7)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (8)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (9)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (10)________ (11)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (12)__________ boy kicked me in the butt (13)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (14)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (15)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An (16)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's (17)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (18)____________ (19)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (20)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (21)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (22)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (23)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (24)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (25)__________ living in an (26)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (27)________________ (28)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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