Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the (2)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (3)________ perfect for an (4)__________ like me
You know I shun (5)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and (6)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (7)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my (8)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (10)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (12)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (13)__________ (14)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (15)________ that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (16)__________ I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (17)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (18)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (19)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (20)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (22)__________ you're (23)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (24)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (26)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (28)__________ it bites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
Yeah

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