Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (4)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (5)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (6)__________ to (7)__________ (8)________ it's 1699

We've (9)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (10)__________ paradise
It's (11)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (12)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (13)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (14)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (15)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An (16)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (17)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (18)__________ paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (20)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (21)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (22)______________ (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the (24)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (25)__________ Mennonites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (27)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (28)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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