Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (2)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (3)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (5)__________ paradise
I churn butter (6)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (7)________ and sacrifice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at (9)________________ price, living in an (10)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (11)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I (12)____________ the (13)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (14)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (15)__________ punched a (16)______________ even if he deserved it
An (17)__________ with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (18)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (19)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (20)________ on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (22)____________ Amletts (23)________ to be like
On my (24)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (25)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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