Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (1)________ a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I (2)________ (3)__________ things (4)________ electricity

At (5)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (6)__________ the chickens and (7)__________ plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (8)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (9)____________ thine
Then (10)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (11)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (12)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (13)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (15)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (16)____________ (17)________ good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (18)____________ quaint, so please don't (19)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (20)__________________ as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (21)__________ and simple guys, living in an (22)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (23)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (24)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the (25)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (26)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (27)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (28)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (29)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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