Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (2)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (3)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial (4)____________ (5)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (6)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard (8)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy (9)____________ me in the butt (10)________ week
I (11)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (12)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (13)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (14)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (15)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (16)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (17)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (18)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (19)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (20)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (21)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (22)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending (23)________ our lives living in an (24)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (25)__________ paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an (27)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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