Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (1)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks (2)________ my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (3)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (4)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (5)____________ thine
Then (6)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (7)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (8)________ quilts at (9)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (10)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (11)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (12)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (13)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (14)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (15)____________ don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (16)________ spending (17)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (18)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (19)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (20)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ (22)__________ as (23)____________ as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (24)______________ want to be like
On my (25)__________ day and (26)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been (27)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (28)________ or (29)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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