Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (1)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (2)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and (3)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (5)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (6)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (7)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just (8)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (9)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a (10)________ hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (11)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (12)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as (13)__________________ as can be

We've (14)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (15)____________ in an (16)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (17)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (18)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (19)______________ (20)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (21)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (22)__________ have to get medieval on (23)________ hiney

We've been spending most our (24)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (25)______________ lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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