Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's (1)________ (2)______________ for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (3)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (5)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives (6)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's (7)________ work and sacrifice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A (9)__________ boy (10)____________ me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in (11)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (12)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I (13)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (14)__________ to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (15)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (16)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (17)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (18)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (19)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (20)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ times as humble as (22)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the (23)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (24)__________ have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our (25)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all (26)__________ Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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