Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I shun fancy things (3)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a (6)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (7)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (8)__________ paradise
It's (9)________ work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (10)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the (11)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (12)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (13)__________ punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you (14)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (15)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (16)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (17)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (18)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (19)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (20)____________ righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as (21)____________ as thou art

I'm the (22)____________ guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (23)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (24)________ my brother might (25)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (29)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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