Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (1)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (2)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (3)__________ to party (4)________ it's 1699

We've been spending (5)________ our lives living in an (6)__________ paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (7)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (8)____________ the (9)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in (10)________ I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist (11)________ if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (12)__________ (13)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (14)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a (15)____________ luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (16)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (17)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (18)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (19)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts (20)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother (21)__________ (22)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (23)__________ paradise
We're all (24)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (25)________ or traffic lights, (26)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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