Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my (1)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (2)________ me
You know I (3)________ fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (5)____________ thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been (6)________________ most our lives (7)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (8)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell (9)____________ at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (10)____________ the (11)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (12)________ off (13)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really (14)________ (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't (16)____________ quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, (17)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (18)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (19)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (20)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (21)__________ day and night (22)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (23)______________ might have to get medieval on (24)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (25)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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