Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk (1)______________ the valley where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my (3)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's (4)________ perfect for an (5)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ milking and (7)______________ so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (8)__________ in my (9)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (10)__________ like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (11)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (13)________ week
I (14)________ smiled at him, and I turned the (15)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (16)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (17)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't (18)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (19)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (20)________ on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? (22)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (23)______________ (24)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the (25)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (26)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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