Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just (2)______________ for an Amish like me
You (3)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (4)________ that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (5)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (6)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been (7)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (8)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (9)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (10)__________ paradise

A local boy (11)____________ me in the butt last week
I (12)________ (13)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I (14)____________ don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never (15)________ buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (16)________ in black, fool

If you (17)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (18)____________ don't point and stare
We're just (19)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending (20)________ our lives (21)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're (22)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (23)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (24)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on (26)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all (27)__________ Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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