Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I (1)________ a look at my wife and realize she's (2)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You (3)________ I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my (4)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (6)__________ like it's 1699

We've (7)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (8)__________ butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (9)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (10)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (11)________ that's unheard of
I (12)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (13)____________ don't (14)__________ and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (15)________________ (16)________ our lives living in an (17)__________ paradise
We're just plain and (18)____________ guys, living in an (19)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (20)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (21)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (22)______________ (23)________ to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (24)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've (25)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (26)________________ (27)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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