Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's (1)________ plain
But that's (2)________ perfect for an (3)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (4)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so (5)________ that
Even (6)______________ thinks that my (7)________ is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our (9)__________ (10)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter (11)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, (12)____________ in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (14)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone (16)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (17)____________ don't point and stare
We're (18)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been (19)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and (20)____________ guys, (21)____________ in an (22)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (23)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're (24)____________ righteous? (25)__________ you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (26)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (27)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an (28)__________ paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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