Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my (2)________ and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At (3)________ in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial (4)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (5)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my (6)________ and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then (8)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an (9)__________ paradise
I churn butter (10)________ or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (11)____________ the (12)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (13)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish (14)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (16)________ the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (18)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (19)__________ and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (21)________ on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (22)______________ (23)________ to be like
On my knees day and (24)__________ (25)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been (26)________________ most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (27)__________ paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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