Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I (2)______________ my grain
I take a look at my (3)________ and (4)______________ she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an (5)__________ like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (6)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're (8)__________ to (9)__________ like it's 1699

We've been (10)________________ most our lives (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an (12)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (13)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies (14)__________ I (15)____________ look (16)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (17)________ paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just (18)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (20)________ for sin and vice, living in an (21)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, (22)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (23)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as (24)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (25)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get (26)________________ on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (27)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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