Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the (2)________________ and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (3)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (4)__________ in my (5)________ and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (6)____________ thine
Then (7)______________ we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn (8)____________ once or twice, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I (10)________ smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (11)________ in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (12)__________ (13)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so (14)____________ don't point and stare
We're just (15)______________________________ impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an (16)__________ paradise
We're (17)________ plain and (18)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, (19)____________ in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a (20)________ on Monday, (21)________ I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as (23)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ might (25)________ to get medieval on (26)________ hiney

We've been spending most our (27)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (28)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (29)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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