Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even (2)______________ (3)____________ that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm (4)________ discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (5)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you (6)____________ thine
Then tonight we're (7)__________ to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an (8)__________ paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I (9)____________ the (10)__________ cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my (11)________ off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never (12)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you (13)________ that's unheard of
I (14)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my (15)____________ agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't (16)________ paid the phone (17)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've (18)________ spending most our lives (19)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an (20)__________ paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (21)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (22)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little (23)______________ want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (24)______________ might (25)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've (26)________ spending (27)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (28)________ or (29)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably (30)__________ it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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