Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I (1)________ through the valley (2)__________ I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things (3)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm (4)______________ cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (5)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (6)__________ on my chin
But if I (7)____________ all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, (8)____________ in an (9)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an (10)__________ paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the (12)________ (13)________ week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a (14)______________ even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look (15)________ in black, fool

If you (16)________ to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (17)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're (18)________ plain and (19)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, (20)____________ in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all (21)________ nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (22)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (23)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (24)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (25)______________ times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (26)__________ scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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