Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a (2)________ at my wife and (3)______________ she's (4)________ plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah (5)__________ the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ (7)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a (8)__________ in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've (9)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (10)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt (11)________ week
I (12)________ (13)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I (14)________ him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even (15)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (16)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like (17)________________ Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just (18)__________ and (19)____________ guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (20)________ for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (21)__________ as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and (22)__________ (23)______________ points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've (24)________ spending most our (25)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or (26)______________ lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (27)________________ think it bites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
Yeah

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