Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I (2)________ a (3)________ at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish (4)________ me
You know I shun (5)__________ things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've (6)________ milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (7)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (8)________ our (9)__________ living in an Amish paradise
I churn (10)____________ once or twice, (11)____________ in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (12)________ quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he (14)________________ it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (15)__________ wear buttons, but I got a (16)________ hat
And my homies agree I (17)____________ look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the (18)__________ (19)________ in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're (20)________ in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a (21)______________ times as humble as (22)________ art

I'm the (23)____________ guy the (24)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring (25)____________ for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my brother might (26)________ to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives (27)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an (28)__________ paradise
There's no (29)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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