Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I (1)______________ my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been (2)______________ and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a (3)__________ on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

We've been spending (4)________ our lives living in an Amish paradise
I (5)__________ butter (6)________ or twice, (7)____________ in an (8)__________ paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price, (9)____________ in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (10)__________ (11)______________ a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's (12)______________ of
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be (13)__________ to tears
We haven't even (14)________ the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're (15)________ technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our (16)__________ living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys, living in an (17)__________ paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an (18)__________ paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll (19)__________ a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million (20)__________ as humble as (21)________ art

I'm the pioust guy the (22)____________ Amletts want to be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or else my (23)______________ might have to get medieval on (24)________ hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an (25)__________ paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd (26)________________ think it bites, living in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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