Amish Paradise by Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the (1)____________ where I harvest my grain
I take a (2)________ at my wife and (3)______________ she's (4)________ plain
But that's (5)________ perfect for an Amish (6)________ me
You know I (7)________ fancy things (8)________ electricity

At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And I've been milking and plowing so long that
Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're going to (9)__________ like it's 1699

We've (10)________ spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
It's hard (11)________ and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
We (12)________ quilts at (13)________________ price, living in an Amish paradise

A (14)__________ boy (15)____________ me in the butt last week
I just (16)____________ at him, and I turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off (17)________ he's burnin' in hell

But I ain't (18)__________ punched a tourist (19)________ if he deserved it
An Amish (20)________ a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
I (21)__________ wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives (22)____________ in an Amish paradise
We're (23)________ plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' (24)________ of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
On my (25)__________ day and night scoring points for the afterlife
So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
Or (26)________ my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
There's no (27)________ or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites, (28)____________ in an Amish paradise
Yeah

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